Their Happy Ending
by sushimess
Summary: Anna and John Bates went through a whole lot in their pasts. Now it's time for their happy ending. But until they're there, there are a couple of challenges that need to be faced.
1. Chapter 1

**Authors note: **

**This is my first ever fanfiction, I'm trying hardly to make it sound interesting and plausible, please be gentle with me, if a few parts sound a little unprofessional. Also, english is not my first language, so there might be a few grammar or spelling mistakes in this fanfiction. Anyways, I hope you like it. :)**

**Chapter one **

As John woke up in the morning, he turned around to take a look at Anna. He liked the thought of her face being the first thing he sees in the morning. But as he rolled over to her side of the bed, it was empty. Her side of the blanket was thrown to the side, the pillow untidy and crumbled in the middle of the bed. Just as he wanted to get up to see where Anna was, the bedroom door opened and he saw Anna coming in. One hand covered her mouth, the other held the door handle. Anna looked at his face, no emotion shown. She stood there for around 3 seconds till she ran back to the bathroom. This time John got up and ran to the bathroom, as fast as his bad knee let him. As he entered the bathroom, he saw Anna sitting in front if the toilet, her head leaned over the toilet seat. With one hand she tried to hold her long, golden hair back. Some strands of her hair fell out of her braided tail. John knelt down next to hair, rubbing her back with his hand, holding her hair back with the other. As she was done, John flushed the toilet. Anna turned around to lean her back against the toilet.

„I think I can't go to Downton today, John."

John looked at her. Anna's face was pale like paper, all sweaty. She could barely hold her eyes open. She pulled her knees up to her chest, her elbow resting on one of them, her hand holding her forehead.

„Don't worry, darling. I'm going to tell Mrs Hughes that you have a bad stomach. Come, I'll help you up."

John reached out to help her getting up. Anna's hands were still shaky, her legs still a bit weak. Together they walked back to their bedroom. Carefully, John put Anna in their marriage bed, pulled the blanket up to her shoulders and kissed her forehead. After that, he went downstairs to make a coup of tea for Anna. As it was done, he brought it upstairs, so she didn't have to leave the bed. But as he opened the door to get into their room, he saw, that Anna fell back asleep. With a smile he put the teacup on the nightstand next to Anna, and removed a lock of her hair out of her face. The sun rose already, it threw its rays in their bedroom, right on Anna's hair and let it shine. John thought, how beautiful Anna is, with her sparking eyes and her soft hair and her delicate hands. He felled spoiled with her and that he had no right to deserve someone like her. She was way to good for him, he knew that, but somehow Anna chose to love him, and marry him, and spend the rest of her life with him.

He took a towel from the bathroom to dab away the rest of the sweat that was left on her forehead. Also, he opened a window to let fresh air in. After that he left their cottage and made his way to Downton.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two**

As every morning, John Bates went to Downton Abbey by foot. Usually he has Anna by his side, but today he had to make his way alone. Even though he was alone, he enjoyed the little walk in the morning, not trying to worry about Anna too much, he was sure she'd get well in a couple of days. It was a day in March, winter was almost over and spring made its first signs of appearing. The snow started melting and the sun fell on the small buds that started growing on the trees.

As he arrived in Downton, he put his coat and hat down, after that he went to look where Mrs. Hughes was. He asked Mr. Carson, if he had seen her, and he sent Mr. Bates to the kitchen. There he found Mrs. Hughes talking to Mrs. Patmore.

„Excuse me, Mrs. Hughes, I hadn't in mind to disturb you."

„Don't worry, Bates. What is it?"

„It's about Anna.", John answered, „She doesn't feel well today, she woke up with a really bad stomach. I don't think she'll return to Downton this week."

„That poor thing.", the housekeeper answered, „Tomorrow is my next free day and I haven't got any plans. I think I should go and visit her."

„That would make her really happy." John responded with a warm smile.

After their conversation, John went to work. The day went by fast, at lunch he started missing Anna. In the afternoon, when he was about to clean the Earl's shoes, as well.

In the evening he made his way back home. Although spring was around the corner, it was still pitch black when his work ended. It was a clear night. The moon was full and a million little stars where shining in the sky. He started counting them while walking, but there were far too many.

After a while he arrived at the cottage. In the sitting room was still light on. Or the fireplace burning. He entered the cottage and put his hat down and turned his coat off. After that, he hung them up, he walked in the sitting room, where he saw Anna sitting in an armchair next to the fireplace. A book was resting on her lap, her head was leaned against the headrest. Because her eyes were closed, John assumed that she was asleep. If she was sick, she should sleep as much as she could, sleep was the best medicine. He touched her blushed cheek. At least she wasn't as pale as this morning anymore. But he realized, that this bright red color on her cheek wasn't what she usually looks like. His thumb caressed her cheek and her cheekbone. Her eyelids fluttered.

„Keep sleeping." John whispered, but that was what made Anna wake up.

„John…" she muttered, her eyelids barely open. She lifted her head and tried to look at her husband, but the light of the fireplace was too bright.

„Shh…", he made, „Let's bring you to bed."

He took her hand to pull her up. In their bedroom, he meant Anna to sit down on their bed. He didn't want, that she did to much, he wanted her to rest and get well.

Her nightgown hung over a chair across the room, John took it and helped her to get into it. After that he put her to bed and pulled the covers up to her shoulders, just like he did this morning. He saw, that the tea cup looked almost no different than as he put it on the nightstand in the morning.

Anna saw John's look on his face. „I couldn't keep the tea down. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make it look like I didn't like it. Because I did like it, a lot."

„Don't worry, it's fine.", John responded with a warm smile, „Did it get any better over the day?"

„Yes." Anna answered his question. She closed her eyes, she was way too tired to hold the conversation up. The sickness was knocking her down.

„Get some rest. Good night, my darling."

But she didn't hear that anymore. She drifted off to a sleep, that she really needed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter three**

In the next morning, when Anna woke, John had left to Downton already. Her stomach hurt again, but it was bearable. She stood up, went to the closet and took a dress out. An old, but comfortable one. She wouldn't wear it in public anymore, but for a day she'd spend at home it was just right. As she got into it, she felt her stomach rumble. She took her appetite as a good sign, so she made her way down to the kitchen to have some breakfast. Anna opened the fridge and took some butter out. Also, she made some toast for herself and a cup of tea. Even though she felt better, she didn't want to take it too far with the food, that's why she decided to go for a plain breakfast. As it was done, she took it to the living room, sat down in an armchair and took a bit of her toast. The butter was melting on it, she loved the taste. As she was chewing, she got dazed. A couple of seconds ago, she liked the toast a lot, but now it seemed like her nauseous feeling of the previous morning came back. The taste of the toast didn't change at all, but suddenly she hated it. She found it disgusting. Out of a sudden she felt the breakfast coming back up. Anna tried to reach the bathroom as fast as possible to empty her stomach. After she was done, she got up on shaky legs and walked over to the sink, where she splashed some cold water in her face. She doubted, that she'd finish her breakfast, so she cleaned her teeth to get the taste of vomit out of her mouth.

A couple of minutes later, she returned to the living room to tidy up the dirty plates of her breakfast, but the smell of toast overwhelmed her. It was as disgusting for her as it was before she went to the bathroom. She left the living room and went to the bedroom. In the second she sat down on her bed, someone knocked on her door. Anna sighed. She got up to open the door. It was Mrs. Hughes.

„Mrs. Hughes!", Anna greeted her and offered her a warm smile, „Please, come in!"

„Thank you, Anna. Tell me, how are you feeling today?"

„Better than yesterday, but I'm still not feeling well." The younger women responded, as she hung up the coat and hat of her guest.

As they both entered the living room, the smell of the toast found it's way to Anna's nose and made the nausea come back. Anna rushed to the table to take the toast. With the toast she rushed to the kitchen and threw it away. Right in the moment she closed the trashcan, she felt the urge to throw up, but managed not to.

The housemaid put a kettle with water up, to make some tea for herself and the housekeeper. While it was getting hot, she went back to the living room and opened a window to let fresh air in.

„Please don't open the window,", Mrs. Hughes said, „it's so cold outside today!"

„I think a little fresh air in here can't be wrong!" Anna answered with a friendly smile.

„In my opinion the air in here was pretty good." The older women responded, smiling as well.

After Anna brought the tea to the living room, she sat down in the opposite armchair than the one Mrs. Hughes was sitting in.

The older women noticed Anna's flushed checks and the shiny hair. Her small hands were clinging on the tea cup, she took a sip of it.

Even though Mrs. Hughes never had children by her own, she could tell, that Anna was in other circumstances. Her skin was glowing, she was nauseous and couldn't stand the smell of the toast that was in the room.

„Tell me, how are you feeling these days? We didn't really talk lately." Mrs. Hughes tried to start the conversation.

Anna shrugged her shoulders. „I just hope I'll be back next week. I don't really like being sick at home all day."

„I see."

Both took a sip of their still hot tea. Mrs. Hughes noticed the tense posture of Anna.

„Are you alright? Should I get you a glass of water?"

Anna shook her head.

„No, thank you. I just shouldn't drink the tea too fast. I need to be careful, otherwise I'd just throw up again." She answered with a nervous chuckle.

It seemed, like Anna didn't get the same idea like her colleague yet.

„Anna." She tried to get her attention back. The blonde looked at her.

„Are you sure you're alright? Did you see a doctor yet?"

Anna shook her head once again. „No, I thought it'd get better by itself. If I should feel the same tomorrow, I'll go and see Dr. Clarkson."

Mrs. Hughes sighed. Anna didn't seem to understand.

„Anna.", she tried it one more time, „Don't you think it's possible, that you're not sick at all?"

The look on Anna's face was pure confusion.

Once more Mrs. Hughes sighed. Suddenly, Anna's hand shot up to her mouth. She got what Mrs. Hughes was trying to tell her.

„Oh my god." That was all she could say. She leaned back in the arm chair. „Oh my goodness." She said once again. Everything became clear. The nausea, her sleepiness, the smell of the toast. She didn't even realize, that she had missed her period. A bright smile appeared on the blonde women's face, she started breathing heavily, tears formed in her eyes, tears of happiness. She got what happened in this moment, but it seemed far away. She couldn't realize it.

On Mrs. Hughes face was a bright smile as well. She didn't say anything, she just sat there and smiled.

Luckily, Dr. Clarkson was free this afternoon, so he could check on Anna. He asked about her last circle and about some signs and symptoms of pregnancy, such as the nausea and the tiredness. As Anna approved of both, and also told that she had to throw up in the morning just by smelling certain things, Dr. Clarkson was sure and congratulated Anna to her pregnancy.

Anna couldn't help it but smile. Mrs. Hughes was attending all over the time in the cottage and was there to hold Anna as the doctor left. Anna was crying tears of joy, and even Mrs. Hughes couldn't help it and tore a little up. She gave Anna a tight hug and told her how happy she was and how proud.

She really was. Anna went through so much, the sexual assault, her husband in prison, herself in prison, dealing with his husbands ex wife's threatens, the list goes on, not to mention the things she kept as a secret. When someone deserves the happiness and joy of a baby, then it was Anna.

Because she had some stuff to do in Ripon, Mrs. Hughes left Anna about 15 minutes later. After she left, Anna thought about everything that happened. It was hard for her, to imagine, that she'd have a little person crawling around in this house in less than a year. She looked at the clock and saw, that Mr. Bates would come home in two hours. She wanted to tell him the news. Immediately. She knew well enough, what could happen, how many women lose their children before they're born, but she didn't want to wait. She wanted someone at home, she could share her happiness with, and that special someone was her husband, Mr. John Bates.

The day at Downton didn't seem to come to an end. John spent his whole day with cleaning shoes, washing the Earl's clothes, and some other of those boring, daily things. At lunch he didn't talk to anyone, Baxter tried to build a conversation with him, and asked how Anna's feeling, but he didn't want the conversation to keep going as Thomas started joining it.

As he finally could go home, he walked as fast as he could. He entered the cottage and called „I'm back home!"

„I'm here!" he heard his wife's voice coming from the sitting room. He entered it and saw his wife sitting in the same armchair as the previous evening. She knit something.

„What are you knitting?" he asked and smiled at her as he walked to the armchair.

Anna had a suspicious smile on her lips. „What does it look like?"

„Hm… I don't know." Bates said and took a closer look. „Is it a sweater?"

Anna nodded.

„But it's really small. Is someone having a baby I don't know about?"

Anna shrugged her shoulders. „I don't know who's having a baby." She gave him another smile and hoped he got the hint. But it didn't seem so.

Her husbands face was as confused as hers this morning. He got up and went to the kitchen to make some tea for them both. Suddenly she heard him yell „Oh my god!" and saw him coming out of the kitchen. He ran out of the kitchen. Or at least the speed that was running for a Mr. Bates.

„Anna!"

„What?"

Silence. Bates' eyes got wet. Anna smiled as bright as she could. She let her hands sink.

„What?" she repeated.

Bates started crying. He reached his arms out for her and she fell in them, he pulled her to his chest to hug her tight. He couldn't believe it. He was so stupid, she was nauseous and sleepy and knitting a baby sweater. He was so stupid. After a long lasting hug, he let her go, took her face in his big hands. His thumb caressed her cheek.

„John…"

Anna closed her eyes and started crying.

„Shh… it's okay. Don't cry. We don't have a reason to cry. We're both out of prison. No one can harm us anymore, no one can tear us apart. And we're…"

He couldn't finish the sentence. He knew what's going on, but it was hard to finish the sentence.

„We're having a baby." Anna said for him and let out a laugh between her sobs.

Later that evening, as they both went to bed, both pretended to sleep, but actually both laid awake and thought about what happened. Slowly, Anna moved her hand to her abdomen. It was still flat. But not for long anymore. Everyone would see that she's having a baby, and when she gave birth, she'd have a little human she could take care of. She'd feed their baby and dress it nicely everyday and take it out for walks.

Also John laid awake. He thought about what happened over all the years and how it did worth it to wait. All the pain he and Anna had, all the time they spent apart, all the tears both of them cried while suffering. They lost each other, and then found back to each other. All the hugs and kisses they shared, their wedding day and the day he arrived at Downton. How both tried to fight against Thomas and O'Brien, how Anna got assaulted and rejected him, how Vera came to Downton and tried to ruin his life, how she killed herself and still managed to ruin his life, and the one of his wife, beyond her death.

But all this is over. All the bad things are over. And this child would be the sign of a new era of their life. A sign of happiness and love. And he wouldn't let anyone hurt it. He'd protect it with everything he had, to the last drop of sweat, the last drop of blood. His heart would burst any moment, he was sure of that. He didn't deserve his wife. And now, after everything he got, everything god gifted him with, he gave him a child. A child, that would make this happy ending even happier.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Anna felt still nauseous for a couple of days, but she asked Dr Clarkson to prescribe her something against the morning sickness. Because it helped her very well, she returned to Downton a week later.

She entered the servants hall, her husband took her coat and hat to hang it up. The first person she met was Mrs Hughes. But she was busy planning the Crawleys lunch with Mrs Patmore, so she went over to wish the other servants a good morning.

„Good morning, Anna." Mrs Baxter greeted her with a warm smile. „Do you feel better?"

Anna didn't want to open her secret to the other servants yet, she didn't want the people to talk about it. It would make her feel uncomfortable.

„Yes, I had a stomach ache for a couple of days, but now I'm back. Thank you for asking!" the blonde women answered.

The bell of Lady Mary's room rang, so Anna made her way upstairs to serve her breakfast. For a short moment she thought about telling the Lady about her pregnancy right away, but she decided to inform her later that day. But she'd definitely do it today, so Lady Mary knew her circumstances and could start looking for a new ladies maid.

She didn't really know how she should start talking about it, as she entered Lady Mary's room to make her hair later in the morning. Her Lady sat on the stool in front of the mirror, as the ladies maid brushed her hair.

„Anna? Are you alright? You're so quiet this morning." The brunette broke the silence.

That was the moment. Anna didn't want to make a big deal out of it. So she decided to say it right away.

„I'm pregnant, milady. I had in mind to inform you this morning, but I couldn't find the right moment yet."

Just as she said that, Mary turned around and looked with a surprised, but happy face up at Anna.

„For real?" she asked.

Anna nodded.

„Yes.", Anna said with a little smile, „I can't really believe it, to be honest. Mr Bates and I tried for having a baby for such a long time. But it never worked. I fell pregnant, two or three times already, but even then, it didn't work. Mr Bates doesn't know that I was with child before. I discovered it always too late, and I think, because I didn't know I was pregnant, I didn't take things easy enough, and that's why I miscarried. But this time, Mrs Hughes found it out before me, I still don't know how she did that, but because I know so early already, I think I'll be able to keep the baby alive this time.

Anna felt relieved. Nobody knew about the miscarriages she had before. No single soul. But now, Lady Mary knows.

The brunette Lady stood up and gave Anna a hug.

„Oh, Anna.", She whispered, „You should've told me before. If there are any complications, even if it's just a small one, I want you to inform me. I will lighten your work and make sure, that you can sleep longer in the morning. I am going to ask Baxter for serving my breakfast, so you'll get more rest."

Anna didn't know what to say. She didn't expect Lady Mary to support her like that.

„Yes, milady." She responded with a thankful smile, „I will."

After those words she left the room to tidy Lady Mary's night gown up. This whole conversation messed her head up, until it was time to go to lunch. She carried a pair of shoes of her lady with her, so she could clean them up after lunch. Mr Molseley appeared behind Anna and asked her, if he should carry her shoes.

„No, it's fine Mr Molseley, thank you." Anna said. She was confused about his behavior. Why should he ask her, if he could carry the shoes for her?

„Well, I thought, it may be better for you." He said, obviously a little embarrassed.

Anna didn't get it. Did someone tell him about her pregnancy?

She told him once again, that it's alright, and that there's no need to worry about her.

As she entered the servants hall, Mrs Patmore asked her, what she'd like to eat for lunch. Anna was still confused. She told the chef, the she'd eat whatever was served.

John entered the room and Anna pulled him aside in the hallway. After she made sure, none was listening she asked him: „Did you tell anyone about anything?"

„About what?"

Anna got impatient and also a little upset.

„The baby, probably?" she said with an annoyed undertone in her voice. As she saw her husbands upset look on his face, she did regret sounding sharp immediately.

„I'm sorry." She said and turned her face down. „I didn't mean to hurt you."

Bates was still a little confused and upset about his wifes anger, but he knew well enough that being with child could mess a women's mind up.

„Don't be sorry. It's alright." He said with a encouraging smile. „I told Mr Carson about your circumstances, so he knows that he shouldn't load you with heavy work or anything."

„Did anyone hear you talking about it?"

„I can't remember anyone being in the hallway. Why?"

Anna shrugged her shoulders. „Mrs Patmore and Mr Molseley were a little weird around me this morning. I just wondered, if you told anybody about… anything."

„Would that be so bad? Sooner or later they'd find out about it anyways."

„Yes, but not now. There's still a lot that could happen."

„But what should happen?" Mr Bates asked. He didn't get, what his wife was so concerned about. If she takes it easy and puts her feet up every once in a while, there wasn't anything that could happen.

„You see, there are just some women who… can't… keep their babies."

„What do you mean?"

Luckily, Anna didn't have to explain it any deeper, because they both got called to lunch.

Later that evening they both sat at the fireplace in their cottage. Anna put her feet up on a small stool. John ordered it, so she could relax herself as good as possible.

Anna read a book, while John was starring into the fire, daydreaming.

In Anna's belly was a sharp, but weak pain. It started like this a couple of times already. Her hand shot to her abdomen, her hand a little shaky, she tried to sort out her mind and thoughts, she didn't want John to worry about her. Because she accidentally hit against the book with her hand, John turned his head and noticed her tense posture and frightened face.

„What's the matter?" he asked.

Anna shook her head.

„Don't worry,", she said, „everything's alright."

A forced smile was around her mouth. To pretend, she's alright, she started caressing her stomach. Anna decided to go to bed.

„You know what?", she said, faking a yawn, „I think I'm going to bed. This little one is really straining me." She caressed her belly a little more, to underline what she just said.

As sooner she'd get to bed, the sooner she could relax and hope, that this time it won't end up like with her previous children.

„Do that." Her husband responded with a warm smile. He got up from the arm chair he was sitting in, reaching his hands out to hers. Anna put her small, delicate hands in his big ones.

„Good night, Mrs Bates." He said with a cheeky smile.

„Good night Mr…. Bates." Another pain shot through her uterus. She tried to overplay her blooper with a kiss on his lips. She turned around right after it, walked over to the stairs that she had to climb to get to their bedroom.

Anna hurried getting her clothes off and into her night gown. The pain got worse, but before she laid down in the bed, she knelt to the ground in front of her bed, to send a prayer up to god.

_Dear father,_

_Like you know, I am with child currently. I lost all my other children, I don't want this to happen again. All my children died, one by one, before I could hold them in my arms. There is no day happening, when I'm not thinking about them. How I found out I'm expecting, how I started feeling the pain and how I discovered the blood in my underwear. Realizing, that my children died, was more painful than the pain itself. This baby is the first baby, my husband knows about. I can feel it dying. I can feel the pain, I know exactly, what it is going to lead to. Dear father, please, give me the strength, to keep this baby alive. I beg you, hear my wish, let a miracle happen. Let this one baby come alive healthy. _

_Amen. _

After the prayer, Anna stood up. Tears were streaming down her face. She tried to stay silent, she didn't want John to hear her. She didn't want him to worry. The only thing she could do now, was hoping.


	5. Chapter 5

**Authors note: in this chapter is some medical stuff happening. I am not a doctor, I haven't been to med school so theres a high chance that the stuff I wrote about isn't 100% true and there may be some mistakes. But I'm just a fanfiction writer, not a doctor, so please excuse my mistakes** :)

**Chapter five**

The next morning Anna felt worse than in the evening before. Her stomach was cramping horribly, but she could still manage it. Because she couldn't stop what's happening, she decided to go to the Abbey for work to distract herself.

As she arrived, the bell of Lady Mary's room rang, Anna pushed herself up the stairs. The pain became rapidly worse. In her ladyships room she couldn't help it anymore. Anna closed the door behind herself and sank to the ground, clinging to the edge of the doorframe.

Lady Mary, who observed everything through the mirror, stood up and rushed over to the place where Anna crouched.

"Anna, are you in pain?", she asked fearfully. She knew how stupid the question was, Anna was in pain, obviously.

"Anna, please say something!"

Anna knew that it was dumb to deny having pain. She didn't want Lady Mary to worry about her or encumber her with the miscarriage, but the cramps became too heavy to work properly.

"It's- it's happening, milady. I'm losing the baby again."

Anna's face warped of pain.

"Stay calm, Anna. I'm going to find Tom, he will get us to the train station."

Before Anna could ask a question or turn anything down, Mary kept speaking.

"We'll go to London. There's a doctor who fixed me. I wasn't able to have babies too, but he fixed me, and he's going to fix you as well. I promise."

After everything Anna had done to her, she needed to give her something back. Mary owed this to her.

Mary opened the door of her bedroom and Tom Branson was luckily in front of it because he was walking in this hallway.

"Tom!"

"What is it, Mary?"

"It's Anna! I need to get a train to London, right now! Please, help me getting Anna to the train station."

Mary turned around to tell Anna, that they would leave right now, but she saw, that Anna couldn't walk in this condition. Luckily Tom came over, saw Anna and knew right away that he needed to carry her.

Together they made their way to the automobiles without seeing anyone who could ask questions.

At London the doctor checked up on Anna. He said, that Anna has a weak neck of the womb. It's nothing special, a lot of women suffer from this and he could treat it. Because it wasn't to late to save the child, he agreed to do it right away.

With a stitch he sewed the neck of Anna's womb and told her, to rest for a couple of days.

After that, Anna was a lot happier. She couldn't help it but smile. She felt still a little sore and not very well, but compared to the previous cramps it was a lot better.

Because the doctor said Anna had to rest, Mary booked a hotel room for that night for both of them together. The reason, why Anna didn't get a separate one was, that Lady Mary wanted to be there to help if anything should be. If Anna had pain, for example.

They went to bed early, both exhausted of the day.

Mary felt like she needed to talk to Anna.

"Anna.", she said, "Why did you never tell me, that you lost your children? I could clearly see, how much pain you had during the miscarriage, how did you live with that pain all alone? Not to mention the mental pain you must've had."

Anna didn't say a word. She didn't know what to answer.

"I don't know.", she answered finally, "After I was aware the first time, I had a miscarriage, I didn't tell John about it, because I didn't want him to worry. I told him, I had strong period cramps. He wants a baby really badly, you know, but it took me ages to get pregnant. The day I had the miscarriage, was the day I wanted to tell him that he'd become a father, but it never came to the moment where he'd find out. That day, I went to bed early, because of my "period cramps". John stood up a little longer, so I cried myself quietly to sleep. The next miscarriages were less horrible. After the second one I knew what's going to happen, so I didn't get my hopes up. This time, I had really hope it could work, because Mrs. Hughes became suspicious and talked to me about it. I'm really glad she did, so I had enough time to save the little one and manage that it can survive."

Anna's eyes filled with tears, but she hurried to swipe them away.

"Oh Anna." Was all Mary could say.

Lady Mary felt sorry for Anna. After everything Anna did, not just for her, for everyone, and everything she had to go through, it wasn't fair to give Anna such a condition. Anna went to prison and was separated from her husband for such a long time, she was physically abused and is surely mentally weakened, and the thing, that was between her and her happiness, the thing she wants the most, was a weak neck of the womb. All that was ridiculous.

* * *

The next morning they both went to the train station to take a train back to Downton. There was a silence between both of them, but it was probably because of a lack of sleep.

At the local train station was Tom waiting for Mary and Anna. He took Anna's little luggage and Mary's suitcase and carried them to the automobile.

Back at Downton Lady Mary sent Anna back to her cottage right away.

"I'm going to tell Mr. Bates where you are and that you are well, I promise."

"Thank you, milady.", Anna said, "Really. I'm thankful for everything you did to me."

She couldn't help it. Those stupid tears where everywhere and came back up in the most inappropriate moments.

"Please, tell Mr. Bates that I'm fine and that he doesn't have to worry about me. And- and I'm sorry for the tears. Somehow… I can't control it. I'm so sorry!" Anna said, or more likely cried.

"Don't worry, it's completely normal to act like that in your condition." The Lady tried to calm Anna down.

After that, Lady Mary and Tom said good bye to Anna.

Anna spent the rest of the day in the cottage. She wanted to do something, she couldn't stand the thought of sitting around all day, completely useless. But she felt so sore and exhausted and tired, that she decided to lay down for a moment. Unfortunately, that moment turned into the whole afternoon.

As John Bates came back home in the evening, Anna woke up from the sound of the closing door. After she checked the windows, she realized it's dark outside already and that she slept all day. John opened the door of their bedroom and Anna sat up.

"Don't stand up, my darling. Stay in bed." John said and walked over to her to give her a kiss on her forehead. He sat down on the edge of her side of the bed and took her hand. Anna didn't know what to say. She didn't know what Lady Mary told him. Because of the fact, that John told her to stay in bed, she assumed that John could figure out, that she wasn't alright.

"So, what happened in London?" John asked. He smiled, but she knew that he was serious. He was worrying about her, Anna was aware of that. She didn't want to mess all this up, tears came back.

"I- I didn't feel well, so Lady Mary brought me to Dr. Ryder." Anna said. Her face was serious, she didn't want John to worry more than necessary.

"I know that you didn't feel well. But what happened? You wouldn't have left that suddenly overnight, if it was just "not feeling well"."

Anna couldn't help it. She broke out in tears. "I- I did almost miscarry, John, I had almost a miscarriage!" she cried.

John didn't say anything. He took her in his arms. She was like a small bundle laying in his arms, crying and sobbing. He caressed her head and her back, rocking back and forth with her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter six**

The weeks passed and Anna felt better. She could stop using the medicaments against her nauseous feeling and also the soreness disappeared. Only a couple of days later she could go back to Downton. Her life in Downton didn't change much. Lady Mary and Tom stood silent, and so the other servants thought she had a stomach ache again. For the following weeks Anna tried to hide her growing baby bump, she started wearing her apron again. It was tighter around her waist, so it looked like the apron made the small bump on her stomach.

Baxter was still serving Lady Mary's breakfast. She felt kind of used since it's Anna's job, so she pulled her aside one day before lunch.

"Anna, I don't want to be rude, but is there a reason why I am serving Lady Mary's breakfast? I mean, it's your job. When you were sick I could understand that you needed to rest, but now I can see that your feeling better." Baxter's voice was soft, but Anna knew that it must really seem like she's using her.

"Yes, there is a reason, Miss Baxter. But I'm unsure if it's the right time to tell you the reason." Anna answered with a crooked smile.

The older women's eyebrows shot up.

"I don't want to ask any deeper. If there's really a reason, I'm sure I will understand when you're ready to tell me." Baxter said with a soft smile. She knew that Anna had a reason, and she was sure she knew the reason already.

Both women entered the servants hall for lunch. Today Mrs. Patmore served fish and Anna was kind of really craving it. She was busy cutting it as Mrs. Hughes stood suddenly up and said with a frightened voice: "Anna! No!"

The whole servants hall was quite, nobody was moving. It was like they froze the moment in.

As Mrs. Hughes realized what she did, she sat down and said calmly "This is raw fish, Anna, the last time we had it, you didn't feel well."

Luckily, Anna understood.

"Yes, I remember now. Thank you, Mrs. Hughes." She said and put the fish on Mr. Bates plate. He must be hungry, he could eat her fish.

But she did really want to eat the fish. At least her horrible tears weren't coming as fast anymore as a few weeks ago. She looked up, in front of her sat Thomas. His face was very derogatory. She shrugged her shoulders to sign him, that there was nothing to see.

After lunch she cleaned Lady Mary's shoes. Baxter cleaned her Ladyships shoes as well.

"Anna?"

"Yes?"

"I think I know what's up with you."

Anna stopped cleaning the shoes.

"Yes?"

Her eyes got wide.

Baxter smiled down at her

"Are you pregnant?"

Anna smiled back at her.

"Y-yes." She said, realizing it had no sense to lie about her circumstances. The smile turned into a grinning.

"But how did you find out?" she asked the brunette.

"I found out this morning. I have to admit – I thought you were kind of using me with serving Lady Mary's breakfast, but after you told me you had a reason, I became suspicious, but I wasn't quite sure yet. But today, after Mrs. Hughes said you couldn't eat the fish, I was sure about it."

"Also you can't hide your pregnancy anymore, that makes everything a lot easier to come behind your secret."

The women turned around and saw Thomas standing in the door frame.

"Thomas!" Baxter snapped. It didn't sound sharp, even though it was meant to. She couldn't believe Thomas just said that.

"No, let him. He can't control himself." Anna said and threw a disappointed look at Thomas.

Anna left the room. The rest of the day she didn't care about Thomas anymore and avoided seeing most of the other servants.

In the evening, as she turned her clothes off, she looked at herself in the mirror. Thomas was right, it was visible that she was pregnant. But she looked more like she's bloated, or gained a few pounds. But of course Thomas had to say that, he heard what she and Baxter were talking about and spotted the bump afterwards, but still he had to say it. He had to destroy the moment. Anna was so angry at him, it was a moment of joy and happiness between her and Baxter, but Thomas had to destroy this moment once again.

She put her nightgown on. Her nightgown was wide and comfortable, so it covered her bump perfectly.

Anna was tired and laid down on her side of the bed.

A few hours later, as John came to bed, she was still awake. John crawled under the blanket, put an arm around her waist and caressed her lower belly with his fingers. It tickled, so Anna took his hand, rested it on her stomach and put hers above it.

John snuggled his face in her hair and smelled on it. Like always it smelled fresh and pure, with a mild scent of flowers. He loved Anna and lived for moments like this. A moment without words, familiar and intimate, just between her and him. But he knew that Anna was worried. Just as he thought about it, Anna started speaking.

"I know, I shouldn't be worried. The doctor fixed me, and the baby is perfectly fine and in save hands, but somehow I'm afraid that something could happen. It's frightening me in the night and following me through the day. I'm afraid of finding blood in my underwear, whenever I feel a slight cramp I'm scared about losing it again. I can't stand it, John, I'm sick of feeling scared. Even in my dreams it's following me!"

Anna cried again. She was full of fear. Lady Mary was right. She should've said something. She had needed to lean on someone, someone who had her back.

"John?" she sobbed.

"Yes, Anna?"

"Where you worried about me when I've been to London?"

"I'm always worried about you. And now go to sleep, my darling." John whispered.

He gave her a kiss on her cheek and hoped that she'd find some sleep and rest and that she could forget her worries and fears for a couple of hours.

A couple of more weeks passed and Anna's clothes started feeling uncomfortable. Her maids uniform got too tight around her waist and her belly, and even around her chest it seemed to not fit quite well anymore. She troubled with closing the buttons on her back.

"John?" she called. Someone else had to help her, it just didn't work like this.

Mr. Bates bursted into the room.

"Anna? Are you alright?"

Her husband worried way too much about her, it wasn't good for his health.

"Yes, don't worry.", the women said, "I just- I can't button up my dress. I'm sorry, I'm so embarrassed about it, but I just cant close it by my own. Would you mind helping me?"

John walked towards her and Anna turned around. He pulled on the fabrics of the dress. It took several minutes and two pairs of hands to close the dress, but they did it. John took a step back to check if they buttoned it correctly, and saw that the fabrics was really stretched on his wife's back.

"Anna, you need a new uniform. You can't wear that anymore. Can you even sit down with it?"

"Not in a comfortable way, but it still works." Anna responded. To underline her statement, she sat down on a stool, her back straight and stiff.

"Talk to Mrs. Hughes. I'm sure, she can order a new uniform for you that fits better."

"Yes, I think you're right."

Later that day Anna went into Mrs. Hughes room to ask her for a new uniform. She knocked on the door and waited for getting asked in.

"What can I do for you, Anna?" the older women asked.

"In the last days I struggled to button up my uniform, so I wondered if it is possible to order a wider one." Anna said.

Mrs. Hughes thought about it. "Maybe you should go to a dressmaker instead of ordering one. The earl won't have something against it. I think the dressmaker knows how to sew maternity clothes."

"Alright." Anna said and smiled. "I am going to see one in two days, then is my next free day."

Anna left the room to go back to work. As she mended a pair of socks for Lady Mary, Mr. Bates entered the servants hall.

"I will go to see a dressmaker in two days to get some new clothes. I know that it's your next free day as well, would you like to accompany me?"

"Hmm, let me think about it." Mr. Bates responded and made a face, like he tried to think about it really hardly. A few seconds later he continued and said: "I think, I can do that."

"Good!" Anna said and smiled at him.

That day came and the Bates made their way to Ripon to see a dress maker. Anna explained him her circumstances and that she needs a uniform that allows her to sit comfortably and that she could wear for her work in service.

The dress maker looked at her current uniform, that Anna brought with her, and took her sizes.

"I can't make a uniform that looks like this one, the seam and stitches are on the wrong places to give your belly space and the fabrics is too stiff to get wider. We can use looser fabrics. I'd take your body measurements. For that I need you to take your clothes off. On the chest I'm going to loosen the fabrics as well, there you are going to grow too. May I ask, how far along you are in your pregnancy?"

"I'm around 15 weeks pregnant." The women answered.

The dressmaker finished taking Anna's body measurements and showed her the fabrics he planned to use.

Anna liked them a lot. They were soft and felt good on her skin. Also the shade of black they had was a very nice one.

Anna paid the dress and got told to pick it up in four days.

Four days later Anna knocked on Mr. Carson's door.

"Excuse me, Mr. Carson. Can I talk to you for a minute?"

The butler nodded.

"Please, sit down." He said and pointed to a chair in front of his desk. "What can I do for you?"

"I need to go to Ripon today. I've ordered a new uniform for me that needs to be picked up today."

"May I ask why you ordered a new uniform without my permission?" the man said with a risen eyebrow.

Anna was confused. "I'm- didn't Mr. Bates tell you about it?"

Silence.

"Oh, yes, of course. My bad. I'm sorry. Nobody talked about it anymore, I must've forgotten. Go to Ripon and pick up your uniform."

"Thank you, Mr. Carson." Anna thanked him and was about to stand up and leave the room.

"Anna?"

"Yes, Mr. Carson?"

"How long do you think will you keep working in Downton?"

"As long as possible, Mr. Carson. I feel good and as long as I do I see no problem with my work."

"Hm." The butler made. Anna left the room.

After lunch Anna made her way to Ripon to pick her new uniform up. The dressmaker asked her to try it on, so he sees if everything fits properly. The dress was perfect for her, it fit very well. Also, it was much more comfortable to wear. She was able to close it and like the dressmaker said, it had a lot of space on her belly and chest. She took it off, put her other dress back on and headed back to Downton. Before she entered the Abbey, she went to her cottage to change the dress. She hung the old uniform in her wardrobe.

A few minutes later she walked over to Downton Abbey. She went back to work. Once again, Anna had to clean Lady Mary's shoes and like so often she met her husband in the cleaning room.

"Hello." she said light-hearted as she entered the room.

"Hello!" John gave back with a smile. Anna was very happy right now, but he couldn't figure out what happened.

"What's up with you?" he asked.

"Look, I picked the new dress up!" Anna responded.

John saw it now. The new uniform fit much better than her old one. It wasn't that stretched on her back and also it seemed like Anna could move better in the new one.

They both cleaned their employees shoes and talked about this and that.

For tea, Anna and Bates returned to the servants hall.

"Oh, Anna, you've got a new uniform.", Thomas said, "Is there a reason why you're the only one who received new clothes for work?"

His eyes were fixed on Anna. She knew what he wanted. With an angry face she stared back at him. On her back she felt the palm of her husband.

"No, Thomas.", Mr. Bates started, but Anna interrupted him before he could finish his sentence.

"I'm pregnant, like you know. Because of reasons, that are none of your business, I wanted to keep this private for a while. I assume that you knew about my circumstances already, thank you for keeping it private." She snapped, almost shouted.

Anna's face looked still angry, it was like out of stone.

The whole servants hall was quiet. Nobody dared to say anything.

Anna sat down on a chair and moved closer to the table. Her hands shook because of the anger she had on Thomas. She couldn't believe he really dared to do something like that. Her jaw bones were pressed against each other, her eyes closed. Stress wasn't good for her. Slightly, the fingertips of her right hand touched the small rounding on her belly.

Mr. Bates sat down on the chair next to her, he reached his hand out to hers and took it in his. Anna opened her eyes. Her eyes were focused on her husbands face, a slight smile appeared on his lips.

'Don't worry, everything's alright. There's no need to stress. It's fine.' seemed his eyes to say.

The rest of the day, Anna avoided pretty much everyone. She focused on work and waited for her day to end.

After a few more long hours, she returned back to her cottage, John had to stay in Downton for another hour.

Back in the cottage, Anna lit up the fire place, wrapped herself up in a blanket and closed her eyes in her big, cozy armchair. Her day today was everything but perfect, but she didn't want it to affect her health, so she took some time for herself now. Thomas ruined pretty much everything, but she should've thought about that. When he's around, no secret is safe, she should've been aware of that. At least she didn't have to hide anything anymore, she could keep on living without being afraid of telling anyone her secret.

Lost in her thoughts, she started caressing her belly. It was still small, she looked like she'd thicken up, but it was actually the baby in her that made her look like this. To be honest, she liked her body. It was skinny and delicate, but now she looks like she eats too much. But the thought, that a little human inside her was causing this, made it less horrible for her.

Anna thought about the baby, about feeding it and how to dress it and how to bath it and how to play with it, as Mr. Bates entered the cottage.

"You're home!" she said and gave him a cheeky smile.

"Yes, seems so." He replied and gave her a big smile as well.

The fire got reflected in Anna's eyes, her smile was bright and her cheeks rosy. John didn't understand, how he was the man who married her. How hasn't there anyone been before, that wanted to be her husband?

Anna stood up.

"Take a seat.", she said, "I'm going to make some tea for us."

John sat down in another armchair and watched the flames in the fireplace flatter.

Anna came back a few minutes later and served some tea and biscuits.

"Wait, stay like that!" John said, as Anna got up from putting the tea on the table.

"Huh?" was all she could say.

"Oh my god, Anna! You are showing!"

"Really? I mean, I know, I've seen that I started thickening up, but I wasn't aware that it was visible through the clothes!"

"Not that much, if I didn't know, that you are with child, I'd think that this is your normal shape, but I can clearly see, that your baby bump is peaking through your clothes!"

Anna stretched the fabrics around her belly, so it got even more visible.

"I can't believe it.", John said.

"What?" asked Anna and grinned at him.

"I mean, I knew that we're having a baby, but somehow I couldn't realize that it's really… you know… there."

Anna smiled even brighter. Somehow she was amused by her husbands behavior. He seemed like a child on Christmas morning.

She looked down on her belly one more time before she sat down in her armchair and took a sip of her tea.

John's eyes were fixed on her face, nobody said a word. All they did was enjoying this moment, that was full of love and happiness. This moment was able, to let them forget all the anger and problems they had this day.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter seven**

Another two weeks flew by and slowly everyone got used to the thought that Anna was with child and stopped treating her differently. Of course everyone made sure, that she was comfortable and didn't have to carry heavy things, but they stopped treating her like she was made out of glass.

One morning, she bumped into Mr. Molesley in the stairway.

"Oh, Anna, I didn't see you coming upstairs." He apologized.

"Don't, worry nothing happened. I'm alright." She answered and gave him a smile.

"Well, that's good." He said, a little overwhelmed by the situation.

Both made their way to where they wanted to go, as Mr. Molesley turned around and called for Anna. She turned around at the highest stair and looked down at him.

"Yes, Mr. Molesley?"

Mr. Molesley made his way upstairs to her, as he didn't want to yell through the whole stairway.

"A few weeks ago there was this awkward situation between us." He started.

"I don't know what you're talking about." The blonde women gave back.

"When I asked you, if I should carry the Lady's shoes for you."

"Oh… that's what you're talking about." Anna remembered. This situation was about to become awkward as well.

"I just wanted to tell you, that I heard Mr. Bates telling Mr. Carson about your… circumstances through the door. It wasn't properly closed, so I heard a few words."

"It's okay, Mr. Molesley, sooner or later I had to tell the staff about it anyways, so it doesn't matter that you heard it already." Anna said and smiled at him.

"Oh, okay. Well, good." Mr. Molesley answered and made his way to where he wanted to go.

Anna went into the shoe cleaning room to blacken Lady Mary's shoes. There she met her husband.

"Good morning, Mr. Bates." She greeted him.

"Good morning, Mrs. Bates." He gave back and smiled at her as well. While passing where she was sitting, he gave a gentle stroke to her hair.

"What's amusing you?" Anna commented John's smile.

"Can't a husband smile about seeing his wife?" he answered and pulled her up this his chest.

He placed both his hand on her waist, she wrapped both her arms around his neck.

"Mr. Bates, do I really have to remind you that we're at work?"

"I'm sorry, I tend to forget about that whenever I see your gorgeous smile."

He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"Come on,", Anna said, sad to let him go, "let's keep working."

The day went by and like so often Anna was earlier released from her duties than John. She insisted on waiting for him, but he begged her to go home and rest. They made a compromise. Anna would go home but would wait for him to come home before she'd go to sleep.

As she left the Abbey, the air was chilly. Spring was almost over, summer looking around the corner and so the daisies and roses were blooming. She enjoyed the scenery in the dark, a sky full of stars above her, as she felt something. Anna stopped from walking and gasped. Her right hand touched her lower belly, and she waited to feel it again. And indeed, the small tickle appeared once again. Her hand caressed the spot, it was barely more than a little stroke, a delicate soap bubble flying against the wall in her womb, but it was there. Anna stood in the middle of the street, smiling like an idiot.

On the rest of her way back home she couldn't stop grinning. At home she fulfilled her promise of taking a rest, so she put her nightgown on and laid down in her bed. Sadly, she didn't feel the baby moving anymore, but she hoped that it would happen soon again, so she could try if John could feel it as well.

Until she heard the door open because her husband entered the cottage, she didn't feel the movement again, never mind how much she stroked and caressed her belly.

"I'm back home!" John called.

"I'm in the bedroom!" Anna answered.

John entered the bedroom.

"Hello." He said lighthearted and carefree.

He went to the bathroom to put his pyjamas on.

As he came back into the bedroom, he laid down next to Anna. Anna sat in the bed, the blanket pulled up to her lap, but her belly was exposed from the blanket. John reached a hand out and placed it on her belly. With his index finger he started to draw in slow movements little circles on it.

Anna gasped.

"What?" John asked.

"I felt the baby!"

"Really?"

John's eyes wided and got big of surprise and joy. Anna took his hand and placed it on her lower belly.

"Can you feel it?"

John tried to focus, but unfortunately he didn't feel anything.

"No, did it kick already?"

"Yes, it was all the time kicking since I've mentioned it."

John tried to overplay his disappointment with a light smile and gave a soft stroke with his palm on Anna's belly.

"Don't worry, I'm sure that's totally normal.", she tried to encourage him, "I bet you can feel it kick in the next couple of weeks."

A small pause happened in there conversation.

"Since when can you feel her?" John asked.

"Her? You think it's a girl?"

"Yes."

Around Anna's lips appeared an amused smile.

"How do you know?"

John's cheeks flushed a little.

"It's just a feeling." He said.

"I've felt it the first time as I walked back home."

"I bet you were surprised." He assumed and smiled at her, imagining what her reaction might've been like.

"It was incredible. I didn't expect it to happen, I didn't even think about it, and suddenly it was like little soap bubbles rose inside me." Anna said with a dreamy voice, a bright smile on her lips.

Neither of them wanted this moment to end, but a yawn that escaped Anna's mouth told John that it was time to sleep.

"You should sleep." He suggested.

Firstly, Anna wanted to turn his suggestion down, but after a moment of thinking about it, she decided that it would be the best for both of them, for her and the baby.

She laid down and pulled the blanket up to her shoulders. Her back showed to her husband, he came closer and put an arm around her waist, his palm resting on her stomach. Anna's hand covered his, and she closed her eyes with a smile.

Now she understood, what John meant as he said, that he knew that she was pregnant, but never really realized that there was actually a baby inside her. Tonight, her eyes opened. It was like, the little baby inside her proofed that it was really there and not just an imagination of what was going to be in a couple of months.

And with that in mind, she slept in, happy like she has never been before.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter eight**

It was the first week of July and Anna was halfway through her pregnancy. The Crawley's went on family holiday to the south coast of England and so all the valets and maids of Downton Abbey came with them.

The whole family spent the day on the beach having a picnic, so the Bates got to spend some time together near the sea as well.

Anna wore one of her light blue dresses that she owned especially for days like today. It didn't fit as well as it used to, but it was still acceptable.

It was a wonderful, clear and sunny day, a light breeze coming from the sea. Her hat was light brown with a blue ribbon around it.

John and Anna sat on a picnic blanket in the sand, his arm around her waist, her head on his shoulder. The sun blinded her, and she pressed her eyes a little together.

A few meters apart of them played the Crawley kids in the sand. The girls were about to build a castle out of sand, but Master George had in mind to attack and destroy it every time it was almost done. But the girls didn't seem to get upset about it, they were cheerful and laughed about his attitude.

"George, will you stop destroying the castles? Your cousins put so much effort in building them!" his mother shouted.

"No, I won't!" he snapped.

Anna smiled about the little boys behavior and put a hand on her belly.

"Not long anymore, just a couple of weeks to go, and you have a little baby that plays around like that at home."

"Ha ha.", Anna said sarcastically, but jolly, "First of all, we have to wait as long until the little one is born as we waited so far, and second it is going to take at least two or three years until it can build sandcastles." Anna rolled playfully her eyes, but send up a smile to John.

He couldn't help it but smile back. John didn't know why, but Anna was adorable when she was like that, speaking in cheerful sarcasm, rolling eyes but was still carefree and happy. He placed a kiss on her hair and pressed her head against his chest.

John's view wandered to the sea. Because of the breeze, small waves appeared in it and got carried to the beach. The sun shined brightly and let it look, like a million little diamonds were hid under the water.

"Anna?"

"Yes?"

"Would you like to dip you feet into the water?"

Anna smiled at John.

"Isn't the water a little cold?"

"But it's going to be adventurous."

Actually, Anna was a little afraid of the cold water, but John was so overprotective since he found out she's pregnant, that the little adventure sounded tempting to her.

"Alright, let's go and be adventurous." She said and grinned at him.

John got up from the blanket first and helped her getting up. Hand in hand they walked over to the water. With her free hand, Anna held her skirt to prevent it from getting wet.

Slowly, Anna put one foot down, then the other one, to get into the water. It was freezing cold, little waves splashed around her ankles. Grains of sand and little, delicate seashells got flushed around her toes. Anna smiled. She was so afraid of the water because she feared its coldness, but it was actually beautiful. Still, it was freezing cold, but through the cold she saw it's real beauty.

"John."

Anna glanced up at him, emotions running through her mind, happy tears sparkling in the corner of her eye.

"What's the matter, Anna?" John asked concerned as he saw the little tear in her eye. These mood swings were really getting exhausting to stand.

Anna shook slightly her head and let a laugh out, the tears were ridiculous to her. She was simply standing with her feet in the water, but somehow the beauty and intensity of this moment overwhelmed her. If someone had told her younger self, as she started working in Downton, after leaving her whole family behind her, that she'd find here the man, who'd going to be her true love, who'd be the father of her children, that she'd stand someday on the beach nearly crying over the moment, she wouldn't have believed them.

"I love you." She said. That's all she could say. She didn't even know what else to say in such a moment.

Never mind how hard his wife's mood swings were getting on his nerves and never mind how unpredicted they came, they always let him get soft. They reminded him of what was happening right now, and how close they are to their child being born. He loved Anna so much, their was no day happening, where he questioned himself, if something would happen to him, what would happen to her. He couldn't live without her anymore, everyday apart from her was a battle.

John took Anna's right hand in his left, the other one he put on her cheek.

"I love you too, so much. I can't even put it into words. I was so often explaining you, that I love you, but even though I tried so often to put it into words, I've never found the words yet, that describe, what I feel when I look at you."

"John…" Anna started, her eyes getting dangerously full of tears.

Their moment got interrupted by a couple of children running next to them through the sea, salty water splashed around and drenched Anna's dress.

"GEORGE CRAWLEY!" a strong voice shouted through the whole beach.

"COULD YOU _PLEASE_ STOP NOW DISTURBING OTHER PEOPLE?"

That voice belonged to Mary. She didn't shout at George because of anger, more because she didn't want to get up to talk to him and so she had to rise her voice to make him hear her.

She made her way with a towel over to Anna and John.

"I'm so sorry, I don't know why he's such a scamp since we're at the beach." Lady Mary apologized and handed Anna the towel so she could dry herself.

"Don't worry, it's fine, milady." Anna responded.

"He's a child.", Mr. Bates said, "Sometimes little boys have to drive crazy to discover who they are."

Lady Mary smiled at them.

"Yes, indeed. I wonder what he turns out to be like when he's a little older. I'm excited to hear about his hopes and dreams. I still remember my dreams when I was a teenager."

"Oh yes, me too!" Anna agreed. As a ladies maid, she has talked a lot to the young Crawley sisters, she knew the earlier dreams of all of them.

With a smile Lady Mary returned to her family.

"I wonder what our little girl is going to dream about." John said.

"Me too.", Anna responded and smiled up to him, "But I'm not sure if it's really going to be a girl. I mean, there's nothing that can prove the sex of a baby unless it's born."

"But should we keep calling the baby 'it'?"

"No, of course not."

"Well, then I can see no other option than that you trust me with my feeling. You will see, a Bates is never wrong with his predictions about the sex of a baby."

Anna smiled.

"Alright, I trust you."

Hand in hand they walked back to their blanket, Anna wrapped up in the towel that Lady Mary lend her to dry.

Back on their blanket, they laid down on the ground and tried to find pictures and figures in the clouds. They remained like that until the sun went down and the sky got dipped in a warm, fiery orange.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter nine**

The week flew by fast. As they were back at home a week later, Anna became sick. Her head was throbbing and her throat itchy and sore from the inside. Also her nose was blocked and runny and she couldn't stop coughing. She took some days off from her work to rest and get well.

John hated the thought of letting her home alone all day, suffering from her sickness.

"John, it's just a cold, you don't have to worry about me." Anna said, speaking through her nose.

Her face was pale like paper, only her nose had a light red shimmer because it was so sore from blowing it.

"Are you sure that you don't want to see Dr. Clarkson? I'm sure he could prescribe you something to let you feel better."

Anna sighed.

"It's just a cold, John, there are no medicaments needed.", Anna repeated. She started getting impatient., "And now off you go, it's time for you to go to work."

John finally left the cottage and Anna was alone. She exhaled deeply. It was sweet, how caring her husband was and how much he worried about her and the baby, but sometimes it was too much. Sometimes, it felt for her like he treated her like a child. She closed her eyes to slumber a little longer, but the baby in her didn't want to sleep. It kept kicking her, until Anna stood up a few minutes later. She didn't see a sense in trying to keep sleeping when there's somebody taking sport classes inside her.

Anna walked down the stairs and entered the kitchen to set a kettle of water up to make a cup of tea. The delivered newspaper laid on the kitchen table and Anna read it while eating her breakfast.

While walking around the house the baby calmed down and seemed to be asleep, so Anna went back to bed to sleep a little longer as well. She felt, how her arms and legs hurt because of her slight fever, a little increased temperature. Her head was still hurting, but not as bad as last night. But her nose was still blocked, it felt, like it was killing her.

In the evening, as John came back home, she had baked a cake to serve it with the tea. Over the afternoon she felt so bored and useless, that she had to do something. The pain in her head disappeared after taking a medicine against it.

John entered the living room and sat down in an armchair, his leg hurting and himself tired of a long day of work.

Anna brought the cake and some tea in.

"I baked some cake this afternoon, I hope you like it." She explained with a warm smile on her face.

"But you know, that you were supposed to rest." John answered.

"I took some medicine against my headache, I was alright in the afternoon."

It continued like it stopped in the morning.

"I forgot the sugar cubes in the kitchen." Anna realized, but before she could go to pick them up, John asked her to sit down and picked them up by his own.

Angry about his behavior, Anna took place on the opposite armchair. She was able to do chores and walk around. John was way too overprotective about her, and in her eyes that was a big problem.

John came back from the kitchen. Anna tried to control her anger and calm down, but as John told her, that he'd cut and give her a piece of cake, something inside her exploded.

"John!", she snapped, "Stop it, I can do it by my own! I told you that I'm not sick anymore, there's absolutely no need to treat me like that!"

"Anna, you're pregnant and supposed to rest, you've been on your feet all afternoon in the kitchen, please let me help you resting."

That was too much. She got up from her armchair and looked down at John. Her cheeks flushed of anger and her ears turned bright red.

"I don't need that much help! It's a stupid piece of cake, I can take it by my own, just like I can bake cakes, go to work, take walks and do chores! I hate that you're treating me like a child, like I'd be too little for taking care for myself! I'm pregnant, not retarded!"

The words hit John like a bullet. All he wanted was, that his wife could rest and put her feet up. She felt sick the last days and had to take care of two people now, but she got angry about it. He didn't understand her.

The look on John's face scared Anna. She didn't know how she could shout at him like that. He looked so hurt, so confused. All he wanted was, that she was well, and the baby, but she snaps and shouts at him for taking care of her.

Anna wanted to apologize, but tears formed in her eyes, boiling hot they run down her cheeks.

"Anna, please, sit down." John tried to calm her down, but she gestured with her hands, that he should stop talking. Still crying, she left the room and went to the bathroom. She locked herself in the bathroom where she cried.

John remained in the living room. He couldn't get angry about her, somewhere it was true what she said. He was overprotective.

Cries came from the bathroom. John climbed the stairs up to get there. He knocked on the door.

"Anna, please, open the door."

Instead of an answer, he heard snivels coming through the door. Because he wouldn't go to bed without her, John sat down on the floor in front of the bathroom, his back leaned against the wall. Hours passed, Anna cried. One hour passed, another hour, but always when John thought, that Anna calmed down, he heard new sobs coming through the door.

After a while, he must've slept in, because he remembered getting woken up by Anna coming through the bathroom door.

"John." She said, her eyes red of all the crying, dark circles around her eyes showed how tired she was.

John got up from the floor.

"Anna, I'm so sor-"

Anna signed him to pause.

"No, I am the one who has to apologize. You are trying your best, to take care of me, to make me feel well and comfortable, each and every day. I was just so stupid. My feelings take control over me, I can't stop it, and I'm so, so endless sorry for everything I ever said to you, that was mean, for every time I shouted or snapped on you, for every time I hurt your feelings, just because I can't control myself anymore. I hate me for that and I just-"

Anna interrupted herself because she started crying again. She pressed her hands on her face, John wrapped his arms around her, trying to comfort her.

"Shhh.", he made, "Stop crying. Please. It's okay, Anna. You don't have to cry. You also don't have to apologize. There's nothing that you did wrong. It's the baby, that makes you feel like that, but I promise to never get angry for something that's not your fault, and this absolutely isn't yours. We will get through this, through all the problems we have to face. I'm there for you, today and everyday, no matter what happens. I love you, Anna, and I really mean it."

"I love you too." Anna whispered through her tears.

With his left thumb John wiped them away. A kiss on Anna's lips let her stop crying. John put an arm around Anna's shoulders to bring her to the bedroom.

As both of them had their nightgowns and pyjamas on, they cuddled with each other and fell asleep, Anna's legs wrapped around John's, John's hands covering Anna's.


End file.
